Boy are you in for a treat today. I tell you, when I woke up this morning, I had no idea I'd be talking about boobs, butt fountains and dolls named Doo Doo. But these things can happen when you don't plan for every hour of the day. I was, once again, the victim of my own idiocy today. The first incident would be when I ordered fake cockroaches to scare my students with from Amazon and forgot all about it. A month later, when they finally arrived in a little, black, mysterious package labeled in Chinese, I just about had a heart attack when I emptied the contents. Students: 1 Ms. Lou Lou: 0. This is the story of my life. I have never been able to pull off a prank on anyone other than myself. If you're not me, it's pretty amusing. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked. So here is what happened...
I am teaching my students about WWII and the Holocaust. It's my favorite thing to teach. Ever. Luckily, my kids are just as fascinated with it. Anyway, we are reading three different books on the subject and have been having many discussions about the events that took place. We talked about it all day today. So, when I realized that I hadn't planned anything out for the last hour of the day, I saw a book on the bookshelf that was about a young girl during WWII in Vienna, Austria. This seemed interesting to me because I had actually spent 5 weeks teaching overseas in Vienna as a student teacher in 2013 and I thought it would be a good read. It's a children's book for God's sake. So I asked my kids if they'd like to do a read aloud of this book or if they were sick of talking about it for the day. They eagerly agreed to this read aloud and I eagerly began reading. Now, in an ideal world, you're supposed to read everything you intend to read to your class beforehand to make sure the content is appropriate. As you can guess, I did not do this. And now I'm wishing I had.
This is one of those Dear America books written out in a diary format. It starts out innocently enough with the girl ,Julie, talking about how much she adores her dad and her nanny, Mimi. But the book quickly turns and starts talking about how "Mimi's big bosoms floated in the bath tub like they were alive." Hands shoot up immediately. "Ms. Lou Lou? What are bosoms?" Oh boy. In my mind, I'm thinking that I have to teach human growth and development next month anyway, so I'll just talk to them about it. I explain that it's another word for breasts. Of course they break out in laughter and I just wait it out. I try to play it off like it's no big deal and as I keep reading, it just keeps going on about how big her bosoms are and how Julie hopes that hers don't get that big. HELP!!!
We make it through the part about the bosoms seemingly unscathed. Phew. Then, Julie decides to have a seat on the floor next to the bidet. Really? Why?! Hands shoot up again. "Ms. Lou Lou? What's a bidet?" I must have sat for a good minute and a half trying to think of a way to describe it without making them go wild. Finally, a kind young boy in my class volunteers "It washes your BUTT!" I've lost them. They can't control themselves, and now, neither can I. They all ask me if he is telling the truth and I have to tell them that indeed, a bidet washes your butt. If that's not bad enough, every single boy in my classroom felt the need to act out what it might be like to use one. Very creative these boys are.
Finally, we gained our composure and I persisted in reading this damn book. I just don't know when to raise my white flag. I continued reading and it happened again. Julie is reminiscing about how long she has known her nanny, Mimi. She has basically raised Julie from infancy and knows everything about her. She was there when she got her very first doll, Doo Doo. Yes, Doo Doo. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? As I came to the words on the page, I just stopped and paused. My kids knew it was something that was going to make them laugh by the look on my face. "Just say it, Ms. Lou Lou! What is it? What is it?" I pause for a little longer. I look at them with a serious and annoyed face. "Her doll's name is Doo Doo. I give up." One final explosion of laughter ensues, myself included. Now, I understand that this was probably written innocently enough. Many babies can only utter one syllable sounds when learning to speak like goo goo or gaga. But, come on. Throw me a bone, Mr. Denenberg! He is the author of the book, if you were wondering. It was just too much. But, it made for a very entertaining last hour of school. I'm sure all my kids immediately went home and ratted me out. I can't say I blame them. So, let this be a lesson to the rest of you. Always pre-read the books you're going to read to your class or your own children. Always be prepared.
*On a side note, I will continue reading this book to them. But, I will definitely be preparing myself for the embarrassment beforehand next time. Oooops.
I am teaching my students about WWII and the Holocaust. It's my favorite thing to teach. Ever. Luckily, my kids are just as fascinated with it. Anyway, we are reading three different books on the subject and have been having many discussions about the events that took place. We talked about it all day today. So, when I realized that I hadn't planned anything out for the last hour of the day, I saw a book on the bookshelf that was about a young girl during WWII in Vienna, Austria. This seemed interesting to me because I had actually spent 5 weeks teaching overseas in Vienna as a student teacher in 2013 and I thought it would be a good read. It's a children's book for God's sake. So I asked my kids if they'd like to do a read aloud of this book or if they were sick of talking about it for the day. They eagerly agreed to this read aloud and I eagerly began reading. Now, in an ideal world, you're supposed to read everything you intend to read to your class beforehand to make sure the content is appropriate. As you can guess, I did not do this. And now I'm wishing I had.
This is one of those Dear America books written out in a diary format. It starts out innocently enough with the girl ,Julie, talking about how much she adores her dad and her nanny, Mimi. But the book quickly turns and starts talking about how "Mimi's big bosoms floated in the bath tub like they were alive." Hands shoot up immediately. "Ms. Lou Lou? What are bosoms?" Oh boy. In my mind, I'm thinking that I have to teach human growth and development next month anyway, so I'll just talk to them about it. I explain that it's another word for breasts. Of course they break out in laughter and I just wait it out. I try to play it off like it's no big deal and as I keep reading, it just keeps going on about how big her bosoms are and how Julie hopes that hers don't get that big. HELP!!!
We make it through the part about the bosoms seemingly unscathed. Phew. Then, Julie decides to have a seat on the floor next to the bidet. Really? Why?! Hands shoot up again. "Ms. Lou Lou? What's a bidet?" I must have sat for a good minute and a half trying to think of a way to describe it without making them go wild. Finally, a kind young boy in my class volunteers "It washes your BUTT!" I've lost them. They can't control themselves, and now, neither can I. They all ask me if he is telling the truth and I have to tell them that indeed, a bidet washes your butt. If that's not bad enough, every single boy in my classroom felt the need to act out what it might be like to use one. Very creative these boys are.
Finally, we gained our composure and I persisted in reading this damn book. I just don't know when to raise my white flag. I continued reading and it happened again. Julie is reminiscing about how long she has known her nanny, Mimi. She has basically raised Julie from infancy and knows everything about her. She was there when she got her very first doll, Doo Doo. Yes, Doo Doo. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? As I came to the words on the page, I just stopped and paused. My kids knew it was something that was going to make them laugh by the look on my face. "Just say it, Ms. Lou Lou! What is it? What is it?" I pause for a little longer. I look at them with a serious and annoyed face. "Her doll's name is Doo Doo. I give up." One final explosion of laughter ensues, myself included. Now, I understand that this was probably written innocently enough. Many babies can only utter one syllable sounds when learning to speak like goo goo or gaga. But, come on. Throw me a bone, Mr. Denenberg! He is the author of the book, if you were wondering. It was just too much. But, it made for a very entertaining last hour of school. I'm sure all my kids immediately went home and ratted me out. I can't say I blame them. So, let this be a lesson to the rest of you. Always pre-read the books you're going to read to your class or your own children. Always be prepared.
*On a side note, I will continue reading this book to them. But, I will definitely be preparing myself for the embarrassment beforehand next time. Oooops.